A few weeks back, a coworker of mine, Kelly, invited me to join her and a friend for speed dating. Honestly, I didn’t think speed dating was actually real. I thought it was just something they did in movies. You say speed dating, I think 40 Year Old Virgin:
But despite that, I have committed to trying new things, and this actually sounded like fun. And then our coworker Robert decided to join us too. We tried to tell him that he’d be going in with two less options if he joined us (he already has our numbers and we’re not interested!), but that was ok. Then, another team member suggested we needed to have questions prepared. I was not even thinking about that! A quick shout-out to my Facebook friends, and I had some questions prepared (more on that later). Kelly and I also talked a bit about how we should probably check in throughout the night and make sure we didn’t write down the same names. Dating the same guy could be awkward. We decided on rock/paper/scissors as the deciding factor.
For anyone who hasn’t done speed dating before, or seen it on TV, I’ll give a quick description of how it worked: When we checked in, we were given a number and sat down at a table or booth. Kelly and I got to sit together in a booth. Each person was given a score card to write down names and notes, as well as check one of five boxes that ranged from (I’m paraphrasing) “Hell, yeah!” to “No way in hell!” When the event starts, the guys move from seat to seat every six minutes. There’s hardly time to get past “my name is, I work here, live here, never done this before, I came here with a friend”. At the end of this whirlwind, each person writes down their top 5. If anyone you listed as top 5 also lists you in their top 5, you get an email with each other’s contact information to set up a date.
With 24 guys in the span of 3 hours, the only word to describe it is exhausting. I couldn’t keep track of most of them. Three quarters of them worked for Microsoft/Boeing/Amazon. At least half were engineers/developers. A quarter of them had to spell their name for me. Two worked at an ad agency with a friend of mine. Three were project managers. One smelled so bad I could hardly breathe. By the time my Robert showed up, I was so relieved – I finally got a bathroom break! After the first ten or so, it was just too much, and I devolved a bit into the silly questions. Honestly, there was only one guy there that I thought might be fun to date. Kelly and I did rock/paper/scissors. Tied twice. She forfeited since he lived too far away for her, and much closer to me. For the most part, the others seemed really nice, and a few were people I’d actually like to hang out with, but not date.
As for the questions, I had a few prepared that I did not ask:
- What makes you happy?
- What was the last thing you read?
- What is your superpower?
- What is your favorite x? (tv show, movie, color, etc)
The few questions I did ask:
- “If you weren’t here, what would you be doing?” – Most were honest enough to admit they’d be home on the couch.
- “Can you explain the difference between a miter saw and a hacksaw?”- I only asked this once. The answer I got was “well, one is used for mitering things, and the other is used for hacking.” I gave up after that.
- “Would you rather fight off 10 zombies in an unfamiliar place, or 20 in your own home?” – This was one I enjoyed asking to guys who were not so talkative. One answer in particular stands out: “Could the other place be the warehouse from Footloose? You know the one where they’re all arguing then break out in dance?” Uh, no. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Usually the answers were “Depends on where I have the most weapons”. But then, they’d turn the question on me, and I’d end up choosing my own house because I have the .45, a chain saw, a nail gun, a crowbar and a pickax. I think that may have scared a few guys. Except the one from Wyoming who nodded and said “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
- “Who’s the craziest bitch in this joint?” – I admit this question came out the last 5 or so guys. I was just exhausted. And had two pints of hard cider. What was funny is that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM said the same girl. I feel bad for her, but she was the one asking them about marriage and children at a speed dating event.
I have to say that Kelly had the best story of the night. We were noticing that most of the guys were in the lower end of the age range (which was 25 – 38) and that most of the women were in the upper range. We’re mid-30s, but we definitely look younger. The last guy to sit down with Kelly was just drained. She cracked a joke about how he was younger, so he shouldn’t be as tired as she was. He asked how old she was. When she said 36, he lost it. Told her she should cut her hair, and dress differently because she didn’t look her age and it was deceptive! AWESOME. Now that’s a winner! Maybe she could dress older, but he’ll still be a dumbass.
At the end of the event, we took a few minutes to rank our top five. Honestly, I couldn’t remember 3/4 of them. I’m looking at the names and just blanking. I only really remembered the one I’d kinda liked, jotted down a few more names to fill it out and turned it in. At this point it was 11pm, and the place cleared out fast.
The next evening, we got our emails from the event to let us know if we had any matches. Sadly, I got the “better luck next time” email. Not surprised, honestly. Kelly got a couple of matches – probably because she’s so deceptively young! J/K!
I think it would have been better if it had started earlier. Would have liked to have talked with a couple of people again after the event, but it was so late and everyone just took off. A few more breaks would have been nice too. If I did it again, I’d try harder to keep track of everyone. Although, that’s a big if. All in all, it was a fun adventure. I’m glad that I did it – but pretty sure (as I always was) that the odds of finding your perfect match in 6 minutes is pretty unlikely!
On to the next adventure!