This week, the dancers each performed three dances! I honestly don’t remember if that has ever happened before. The pressure was on, there were a number of injuries, the judges were uber-cranky and I think Maks has turned into a robot.

There were some very personal stories of how the contestants got to where they are today: Hope’s soccer success, Ricki’s triumph over weight issues, J.R.’s heroism, Rob’s…? Really, the only adversity Rob has had to overcome is being related to the rest of the Kardashians, am I right?

Here are the results, in order of last to first in total scores:

Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Paso Doble: 21/30 + Argentine Tango: 24/30 + Cha-Cha Relay: 4/10 = 49/70

Was I the only one a little disturbed by S&M Barbie Hope struggling against her chains to music by Miley Cyrus? No? Just me? The scores this week for all three of her dances were bad, but deservedly so. I think Hope has a point that “they” (the judges) have wanted her out from the beginning. Maybe not since the beginning, but since the past few weeks where she has not improved in the least. I guarantee if Kristin Cavallari (remember her?) was still on, she’d be killin it! Hope still looks like she’s flinging herself across the floor. When she tried to badmouth the judges, Maks had to be the good guy for once and cover her mouth. When asked how he felt about their lowest scores since the early weeks of the competition, he answered “I’m very happy! Thank you everybody, for everything you ever said or did!” Stepford Maks indeed. Maybe instead of fighting the judges (or the fake acquiescing), he could review the performance tapes and see what all the rest of us are seeing. Just go home already.

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff
Paso Doble: 23/30 + Argentine Tango: 27/30 + Cha-Cha Relay: 6/10 = 56/70

J.R. truly had a rough night. As we saw in the recap of the week, he twisted his ankle. And apparently reinjured it last night. He got, by far, the worst comment from the judges after his Paso Doble, set to the soundtrack from Mask of Zorro:  “It was a zero instead of Zorro,” said Len. Ouch. His scores were a drastic turn from last week’s perfect scores. I think, though, that he will go through to the finals next week. I have yet to see a contestant voted off after an injury – they always get a sympathy vote. And he absolutely deserves a place in finals. I truly hope he, and his sparkly pants, win the whole damn thing!

Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
Samba: 28/30 + Argentine Tango: 27/30 + Cha-Cha Relay: 10/10 = 65/70

Never in a million years would I have thought Rob would make it to the finals! Or, that I’d be happy to see him make it! He has improved so drastically, and is truly a great dancer! I realized last night that he reminds me of Lance Bass a bit – kinda a bigger guy with a bum that sticks out a bit too far (according to Len), but works that bum off to improve so much and earn a place in the finals! And to get the first-place spot in the competition cha-cha relay – awesome! Good job, buddy! Now, let’s talk about the crazy rainbow parade float set…

Ricki Lake and Derek Hough
Samba: 30/30 + Argentine Tango: 29/30 + Cha-Cha Relay: 8/10 = 67/70

Ricki was down by 8 points off of first last week, but came screaming back this week to take the first place position back from J.R. Her Samba this week was perfect, her Tango near so, and got second place in the Cha Cha. (I do wonder if her second place finish there was a move on the judges part to bump up Rob to make it even more likely for him to beat out Hope for the finals. But maybe that’s just my Maks conspiracy theory at work).